...Mightier than the Sword

Dear Diary,

What a fucking week I’ve had. My old mucker Sean Penn is over in Dublin filming a new flick and we had a bit of a bash for his 50th birthday. Total sess’, real old-school rock ’n’ roll.

We went for scoopage in O’Donohue’s on Baggott Street where I introduced him to Larry, The Edge and the bassist. The Edge, like a total philistine, goes “I loved ye in Friends”. Friends! He’s won two fucking Oscars, David, and you ask him about Friends!

Larry, like the pass-remarkable prick that he is, mutters something about I Am Sam and says, “ye never go full retard”, before cracking up laughing for some fucking reason. It coulda been worse though, Larry was threatening all week that he was gona ask Sean if he feels like he’s had a gay experience now that Madonna looks like a tranny.

Sean’s just recently gotten divorced and, of course, once The Eyebrow found out she was all over him like flies on shite. We eventually had to tell her there was a photographer from VIP outside looking for her while we pegged it out the side door.

Kris Kristofferson, Sean’s mate, showed up and played a few songs. He wasn’t half bad either. I said to him afterwards that if he ever wanted to give up the acting and give music a bash to send me a demo tape. He was dead appreciative, cause he just stood there dumbstruck.

Ali was on ‘Dave Duty’, making sure that Fanning didn’t find out where the pints were going to be. I think she had him propping up the bar in the Parnell Mooney all evening waiting on us. Even so, I reckon we were close to being stung, cause that fucker Damien Rice showed up and he’s only a notch above Fanning on the celebrity totem pole.